DIANA: Doctor Browning?

AUGUST: Come in. Come in.

DIANA: I’m Diana Woods.

AUGUST: You’re very prompt.

DIANA: Doctor August Browning?

AUGUST: Incredible as it seems. Sit down. I won’t bite.

DIANA: Thank you.

AUGUST: I have a tie. It’s in my coat. I have a coat. It’s on the floor.

DIANA: I guess one expects a doctor...

AUGUST: I wear a pipe. Does that help?

DIANA: Double doors?

AUGUST: Soundproof.

DIANA: Is that your couch?

AUGUST: If you’d like to lie down...

DIANA: I’d rather sit.

AUGUST: Price of fame.

DIANA: I beg your pardon?

AUGUST: The decline and fall of the couch. When I started out, they couldn’t wait to lie on it. Some of them actually tried to eat it. I suppose somewhere in the future is standing on their heads the entire hour...What’s your problem?

DIANA: This isn’t my idea.


DIANA: My parents.

AUGUST: That isn’t who made the appointment.


AUGUST: I don’t happen to know him, but your family doctor...

DIANA: What did he say?

AUGUST: There is nothing whatsoever wrong with you physically. Which I can see was an accurate diagnosis.

DIANA: So why am I here?

AUGUST: You tell me.

DIANA: I have over-protective parents.

AUGUST: Are there any other kind?

DIANA: This was all precipitated by a dumb crying jag—I don’t like the taste of liquor—my cousins wedding—I couldn’t seem to stop crying. The groom wasn’t paying any attention to the bride. Everybody agreed that I needed help.

AUGUST: Maybe they should have sent me the bride.










SELZNICK: Push - push -

FLEMING: I'm pushing -

SELZNICK: Push harder -


SELZNICK: Harder -

FLEMING: Uh - uh -

SELZNICK: You have to throw yourself into it.

FLEMING: Uh uh uh -

SELZNICK: It's no good - where is that girl? Prissy, Prissy? Ben -

HECHT: Wha -?

SELZNICK: Scarlett's in Atlanta, remember?

HECHT: Atlanta?

SELZNICK: Melanie's having Ashley's baby.

HECHT: Melanie?

SELZNICK: There's only Scarlett to help her -

HECHT: Scarlett? Ow -

SELZNICK: Not again -

HECHT: I think I lost the use of my legs -

SELZNICK: Have a banana. Peanut? Take it easy.

HECHT: Goddamn you to hell David Selznick - I haven't had a bowel movement in two days - I'm deaf in my right ear from this goddamn typewriter - I must have lost five pounds. Look at that.

SELZNICK: It's nothing serious -

HECHT: What's that?

SELZNICK: You threw the peanuts at me, remember?

HECHT: Did I hurt you badly?

SELZNICK: Fleming held you down until you were over it.

HECHT: Fleming? What's he doing here?

SELZNICK: Stop kidding around.

FLEMING: I'm pushing, I'm pushing -

SELZNICK: We're doing pretty good - We're making progress but we've still got a ways to go -

HECHT: My back -

SELZNICK: We have to keep going -

HECHT: My head -

SELZNICK: You know where we are, right? In the story?

HECHT: Let me take a walk, get some fresh air -


HECHT: Let me sleep for ten minutes -

SELZNICK: We don't have time. We have a baby on the way here.

HECHT: A baby?

SELZNICK: Melanie's having Ashley's baby with only Scarlett to help. Scarlett's maid Prissy told her she knew about birthing babies but she didn't know nuthin. Push - push -